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Sexlessness in a marriage is defined as intercourse fewer than ten times a year. Penn reported that the marketplace for porn is gigantic, dwarfing the national pastime of baseball.

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Am I consigned to that lonely pleasure? He felt no compunction about this; it was part of the never-ending battle of the sexes. Do we put too much sexual pressure on marriage? Sffairs sex, for them, often feels obligatory. An affair is adventure. Meanwhile, the husbands I spent time with would have been fine with obligatory sex.

The first time I saw my favorite married man pick up his pint of beer, the sleeve of his well-tailored suit pulled back from his wrist to reveal a geometric kaleidoscope of tattoos.

He was cleanshaven and well mannered with a little rebel yell underneath. We also talked.

I asked him: Can I just have the occasional fling or a casual affair? He sighed.

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If I asked her that kind of question, it would kill. Well, maybe I would rather know.

The trouble with sex and marriage. The Affairs of Men It's not because men have more desire or are genetically programmed. It's because the social and economic ramifications of it are so much more severe for women.” Hammond told me. There are many reasons why married people cheat. Upwards of 40% of married couples are impacted by infidelity,1 and despite the high percentage, most people — even those who stray — will say that cheating is wrong. Perhaps the straying spouse has childhood baggage — neglect. But many married men messaged me too. After being married for 23 years, I wanted sex but not a relationship. This is dicey because you can't.

Why break up the family if we could just accept the occasional affair? He laughed. I never convinced any husband marriec he could be honest about what he was doing.

Maybe I was being too pragmatic about issues that are loaded with guilt, resentment and fear. I suppose I would hope his needs would involve fishing trips or beers with friends.

But sex is basic. Physical intimacy with other human beings is essential to our health and well-being.

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So how do we deny such a need to the one we care about most? Should we?

It seems so much easier. The Sexual Fix In many cases, once the sexual interest is acted upon and how many married men have affairs infatuation tripped, marriied is such a flood of neurochemistry that judgment is clouded with denial.

But if Only My Wife… Men often wish to hold on to their marriage by trying to find in their partner what they are finding in the affair.

What Makes Married Men Want to Have Affairs? -- New York Magazine

Affairs End Painfully Inevitably, affairs are uncovered and many people suffer. In his research, M. Relationship expert Charles J. Orlando, author of The Problem with Women…Is Mensuggests that while men might have liked the affair for a time, they tend to despise themselves after their indiscretions.

An Unrecognized Reason That Married Men Have Affairs | Healing Together for Couples

The betrayed spouse needs support and help in dealing with the trauma of infidelity, the loss of trust, as well a reconsideration of her marriage, feelings, marriev, sense of self and relationship with her partner. Repair and Renewal Sometimes affairs result in divorce.

If both partners want their marriage, however, a marriage can survive an affair. Many partners have journeyed through senior dating Murdunna guilt and pain to mutually repair and renew hafe marriage.

Psych Central. Retrieved on August 27,from https: Last updated: Psych Central does not how many married men have affairs the content that appears in our blog network blogs.

All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on PsychCentral.

All rights reserved. Hot Topics Today 1. Trying Not To Drown:

many partners, have more difficulty with monogamy and that as such, married men are more likely to have affairs than married women. Why married men cheat: In seven years, I have met with over 60 men - most Talking to my friends, many of them shared the viewpoints I held. But many married men messaged me too. After being married for 23 years, I wanted sex but not a relationship. This is dicey because you can't.